5 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved

Updated: Feb 23

In counselling self-love can mean a variety of different things.

Self-love can be showing empathy for yourself & going to therapy because you care for your needs. It can also be a simple act of service for the struggles you've faced.

When we show love for ourselves unconditionally, we honour every small deed that serves our journey. That is a healthy place to be mentally.

Here are my favourite self-love tips that I love and recommend:

1. Have Compassion for yourself.

You might be asking why giving yourself compassion has anything to do with self love and the simple answer is, YOU have experienced a lot on your time here on Earth. Whether you're a man or woman, teenager/child or adult, working or not working, parent or not a parent... you have only ever had to be strong. You have found a way to survive the storm (that's probably why you're here). Oftentimes, we are completely unaware of how much we have gone through. We either view ourselves to be "not good enough" or "could be better" and the truth of the matter is, you made it regardless. Through thick and thin, your ship survived the storm. So first things first, give yourself a loving pat on the back because that is self-love too.

2. Prioritise Time for Yourself.

Over the years, my preference in how I allocate time for myself has evolved. Especially since becoming a mother. These days making time for myself looks a lot like catching up with friends (because mothers need adult time too!), indulging in a sleep in, having intentional quiet time and getting to know myself again. Some of the active things I personally enjoy doing are: intentional movement like walking challenges, booking a massage, making a trip to the beach, travelling when possible and spending time with the people I love. Whatever you enjoy investing your time in, ensure that you're getting enough of it that it refreshes you.

3. Practice Personal Gratitude.

Personal gratitude can be anything. The very core belief of the Islamic faith is to practice gratitude. To be in a constant state of thankfulness to God for every thing we have. To remind ourselves of the blessings we have, is to remember that we are not empty. That we have not been "forgotten" by God, but that in fact we are bestowed with goodness but have simply become accustomed to it. An example of Personal Gratitude could be your health; your body is in perfect working condition, your lungs still provide you with oxygen even as you sleep and your tired hands have served you well all these years.

4. Ditch the "toxic" vibes.

Such a buzz word these days... "Toxic" can mean anything; relationships, friendships, work-place, state of minds, the accounts we follow... One of the best things you can do for yourself is eliminating negative energy from your life and respect your peaceful vibration. Are you following an Instagram account making you feel conscious of your own body/success/relationship? Unfollow. Friendship circle dragging you down into gossip and drama? It's time to let go.

5. Have a Network of Support.

Sometimes all we need is a good venting session. A good cry, or to simply feel heard. One of the basic fundamental needs according to Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs (1943) is the desire for connection, community and emotional availability. So that tells us just how important of a need it is to have healthy networks that support our wellbeing.

#selfacceptance #lifestyle

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